


Is it regret that I feel? Can you tell me?

by Risaru



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: F/M, Genderbend, ygoshipolympics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 05:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4654473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Risaru/pseuds/Risaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Right after Vector was absorbed from Don Thousand's power he started to question himself. Was it his own desicion to be like this or was it Don Thousand who gave him the madness. When he was about to lose himself an old friend of his past decided to help his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is it regret that I feel? Can you tell me?

**Author's Note:**

> Team Sargassoshipping entry for the ygoshipolympics.  
> Prompt - Regrets [Challenge: Promises]
> 
> Hope you enjoy ~

**Have I ever felt regret over something?**

Until a certain point in my life I didn’t even thought I would have emotions like that. I never thought to feel such human emotions even though I was a human myself once. Or am I still? Who knows? My past was a tragedy – my future isn’t better.   
I enjoyed the pain on my victim’s faces. Their feelings didn’t mean anything to me. When they screamed and showed their misery I was satisfied. Regret? There wasn’t such a word in my mind. Was it my mind? Or was it his mind? Was it his will? It’s a cheap excuse to say that everything I did wasn’t my intention to do it. The whole time I thought it was my personality – my thoughts – my will. So it is ironic to say that it wasn’t my fault about what happened. He colored my soul in the darkness that it became. He took away the emotions I had. He gave me the madness that would never leave my soul. But it was me who did those things. It was me who slaughtered so many humans without even thinking. It was me who attacked kingdoms after kingdoms. It was me who killed without regret. It was my madness.

 

**Do I regret it now?**

After I am here in this darkness that I don’t know what will do to me. He captured me. Finally took the soul he gave me. But now I am here thinking over all the things I did in the past. Thinking over my actions – my history. I, the Prince of Madness.

My madness never left me. It’s mine after all. Don Thousand just showed me who I am for real. Who I was in my mind. The blood of madness is in my veins. My father showed it as an example and I followed him. It was still my body and my control who lead this kingdom into madness and pain. But is this regret? Does regret feel this way? Do I feel bad for killing them? Am I really me right now? Can I trust my own thoughts to be the truth? I don’t know it since I didn’t listen to myself in a while. It was his will but it was also mine.

But now he took my soul and I don’t have to think of it anymore. But why can’t I stop thinking? Are those the souls of the one that haunt me? The one that don’t want me to stop thinking. They want me to suffer like I let them suffer. It’s a fair deal right? I am weak now. He took all my strength and uses it. They can do whatever they want with me.

 **Do I deserve that?**  
Yes.  
**Is that regret when I answer this question with yes?**  
Maybe.

* * *

 

Vector closed his eyes waiting for the fate what would wait for him now that Don Thousand took him. His body felt weird and all in all he felt like he would explode from the inside. But suddenly he felt a strange warmth. Still in fear he opened his eyes just to be surprised that he found himself on a beach. Looking up he saw the castle he lived in his past with his parents. Looking down on himself he couldn’t believe what he saw. “Why am I a child again?” He can remember it. The beach – the castle – his appearance. But why was he here again?

 _“Do you remember?”_ A soft voice appeared behind him and left him with more questions. Looking at the person that voice came from he looked at someone who was the same age he was in right now. That someone wore clothes that only the poor civils in the village wore. Looking down at himself he could see the noble clothes that only the king’s family was allowed to wear. But what was strange about this person was that he looked him so similar.

“Yuma?” He asked. The person laughed and shook their head. It was a girl’s voice which he didn’t recognized at first because of their childish appearance.  
“Sure you can’t remember. In your world I am nothing more than his armor.”  
“Armor?” Vector asked confused. The person that looked so much like Yuma had orange long hair. The same red spikes as him but eyes that shined as golden as the sun. “Wait you said my world? What do you mean?”  
“Right now I am just a reflection. But I was real once. You just can’t remember it.”

Vector still was confused. “Is this a memory?”  
“Sort of.” The person answered with a sad tone. “I know what will happen with you once you grow up. I know what your father did to you. I know what happened to your mother. I know who controlled you.”  
It came back to his mind again. Don Thousand. The things he did. The slaughter – the madness. But there was this strange feeling he had thinking of all the things.  
“So you are just a reflection of my memories trying to tell me how worse I am.” He said and had a grin on his face. He could feel the madness again that he felt so long. He could feel the need to take a sword in his hand. The need to smell the blood of his victims. Was this Don Thousand’s fault? Or was it his own?  
The person in front of him just giggled which brought him back to this place with this strange feeling he couldn’t handle.  
“I am a reflection of your memory, true. And you did worse things but you aren’t actually a bad person. Well maybe you are but things can change and you weren’t born to be one.”  
“Huh … you don’t know what you are talking about. But what am I expecting from a reflection.” He answered disappointed.  
“Same counts for you but what I am expecting from someone who doesn’t even recognize when his best friend stands right in front of him. It was weird to wake up again in the new world to be an armor. It was weird to wake up and see you as you were shortly before to destroy me again. I didn’t understood it back then but after a time and after the memories came back I started to understand. It took me a while.”

 _Armor … coming back … destroy_.

Vector stared at the person in front of him that looked so much like Yuma but at the same time didn’t. And suddenly he felt so stupid for not recognizing. “You are Zexal! We met at Sargasso.”  
“That’s what they call me now.” The Zexal form had a sad smile on her face.   
“You know I was in your past. Do you remember it?”

“My past … I can’t barley remember anything after what happened with my family.”  
“Because you don’t try it. You are afraid of the person that you became but you also are afraid to know what person you were once.” She turned back to him and smiled at him. Vector looked at her for a while. Tried to remember a past this person was in. 

“Every time I remember something I just think it’s a lie.” He admitted. “Because my whole life seems to be a lie.”  
“Do you believe me when I tell you?” The Zexal Form asked. Vector wasn’t sure. “You are a reflection of myself. Wouldn’t you just tell me what I want to hear?”  
She laughed again. “That’s a good point. Okay don’t see me as a reflection. See me as someone who wants to show you the truth again. I wasn’t able to do it back when everything happened but I want to do it now. You can’t lose against Don Thousand again. Yuma tried to safe you and now it’s my duty to finish it.”  
Vector nodded. “You seem to know more about me than I do I think. Go ahead.”

She came nearer to him and took his hand. Vector was so confused about how real it felt. They were here in the sunset on a beach. Both children even though they were supposed to be older by now and everything felt so real. It wasn’t a dream and it wasn’t Don Thousand’s work this time. It felt like the truth.

_In your world we are known as Yuma’s and Astral’s armor. But it wasn’t always like this. Yuma was the one who saved us back then and that’s why we were reborn like this. He can’t remember it himself but Yuma lived with us in the same timeline as you did and we knew each other. We were a little family of the village that was near your castle. Little isn’t the right word. We were a farmer’s family. Yuma was one of my brothers. If I could tell you my name I would do it but actually not even I can remember that. But we were a happy family even though we didn’t have much and you were a part of this. You often ran away from the castle because your father scared you so much. We got to know you and you always had a place in our home. Not as the prince of our land but as a friend. Me and you – we were best friends. At one point you told me that your biggest wish is to not be a Prince anymore and live with us. I was so happy when you told me that because you were such an important part of my life. But the fate didn’t want that to happen. As you grew older you had to take the duty’s that came with the life of a Prince. But I told you that you should take it as a chance to bring a change in this country. Your father was a dictator and you hated him. I told you to make the best out of this kingdom and we both made so many plans about what we could change. It made you happy and it made me happy because I could help you to overcome your fear as a Prince. And your start was good – because you tried your best. You tried to give the people hope and you gave us hope. Yuma and I were your biggest fans. I can remember how we listened to your speech and we both were so happy that you said things we told you._

_But nothing came as it was. We heard about it. The king and queen were dead. It was murder and the murderer was their own son – You._ _Neither of our family believed this. It couldn’t be true. We knew you and knew you could never do such a thing. I and Yuma ran to your place. Our siblings wanted to stop us but they couldn’t. We both didn’t believe about what happened. But then when we arrived at the castle and we saw the corpses of soldiers that once served you. We thought a monster took over this place. When we found you deep in the castle we couldn’t believe what we saw. It was you – holding a sword in your hand. Your eyes weren’t the same ones you used to look at me when you were at our place. I knew those eyes couldn’t be yours. The madness took over. We both tried to talk to you but you didn’t listen. You laughed at us because you said that you fooled us the whole time. That this was your true self and everything happened just as you planned it._ _But neither of us believe it. When you turned your sword against me and I looked in your eyes I could see the regret your felt. Behind this mask of madness there was the real you that could remember me. Yuma tried to save me. But it was already too late. In my last moments I looked at Yuma who held me and I asked him to save you. I asked him because I knew you weren’t the one who did this. He was the same opinion as me and swore he would do everything._

Vector stared at her after what he heard. He wasn’t able to say a word until Zexal laughed at him. “Do you believe me now?” He asked still holding his hand. Looking in his eyes he could remember the days they spend together. Looking at his eyes he also could remember the whole family. It was the truth and he never was so sure about something. “Then why were you reborn as Yuma’s armor?” He asked.

Zexal just stared at the ocean. “Yuma wanted to protect us all. When I awoke as Zexal II I also were able to see his memories that he can’t remember. It was your army that killed our family but Yuma tried his best so save us. But he wasn’t able to and as the last one to be alive he stared in your face and said the he wouldn’t give up. He wouldn’t give up on his family and he wouldn’t give up on you. He said that it was my biggest wish to be with you in this new kingdom you would have created if the madness wouldn’t have took over you. He wanted so bad that my dream would come true. A force in Yuma’s heart awoke. Our family was always in connection with the Astral World even though we never knew it when we were alive. When he died his promise to me and to you didn’t die with him. Thanks to the fact that he was a chosen one by the Astral World his rebirth was destiny. But thanks to his promise he was also able to let his sibling’s rebirth. He doesn’t know it yet what we are to him but we are all here to help him now. Maybe when he finds the Numeron Code and when he can remember his past. Maybe we can live again too. I’m sure he can do it. I want to know my name again. I want to be a real person again like I was. And I want to have the life with you that we never were able to live.” 

“It’s regret.” Vector said and looked down at their hands. He held her hand stronger. “So you want me to tell that I can be the person again that I was supposed to be?”  
“Maybe. It’s up to you. I am just here to tell you that you shouldn’t give up and that you should find your true self. Don Thousand isn’t your true self. You decide who you are.”

“It’s so weird.” Vector mumbled.  
“That it is.”  
“I will try. I will search for it.”  
“And I will help to finish Don Thousand. That’s my duty.”  
“Then it’s a promise that we try to see each other again?” Vector asked.  
“It is.”

And with this the darkness came back. Zexal II along with the beach vanished. Vector was his old self again and back in the darkness that Don Thousand brought him in. Yuma had just tried to save him before Don Thousand absorbed his power. He never broke his promise even though he doesn’t even know why by now. Thinking of Zexal II Vector really wanted to remember her again. Remember her real name and remember all the time they spend together before fate decided to kill them both in their own ways.Still they were here now. Both reborn to be a devil’s pawn and the hero’s armor. 

It was weird.

 


End file.
